Will this leave a scar?

Yesterday I went for an ultrasound and IVIg treatment. So far, so good. The ultrasound showed 6 follicles. I was hoping for more, maybe 10 or 12, but I will take whatever I can get. The ivig treatment went fine, but it took forever. I was hooked up to that IV for almost 4 hours. Ugh. If I have to continue doing these treatments I need to see if they can speed up the process, especially since they charge by the HOUR to administer the drug. Sheesh, what a racket. I wonder if my hubby can learn to hook up an IV. He couldn't do much worse than the nurse did...she did something wrong and there was blood everywhere. And now I have what looks like a drug user track mark on my arm. Thankfully, I haven’t had any real side effects yet. I’m a little tired and I have a slight headache, but I think that is a result of my body working so hard to lay these eggs. I go back to the doc on Friday for more blood, more ultrasound, more rip-roaring fun!

Last week, my SIL gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. He is adorable, with a head full of curly black hair. He is quite yellow, just like my hubby’s family. We went to the hospital on Wednesday to see the baby and his parents. It was a good visit. But as you can imagine, I had all kinds of mixed emotions swirling around in my head before during and after our visit. The most dominant emotion I feel right now is desperation. Is that an emotion? I just started thinking about how if this round of IVF does not work, I will really have to start examining whether or not I can keep trying. If it does work, I will be 39 years old when I have my first child. Which means, if we want more, I will be well into my forties when we try again. Then I start to question whether or not this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Do I really want to be 45 years old with 3 kids under 5 years old? Or is 40 really the new 30? I don’t have any answers. I just hope this round works.