Just for Kicks While I'm Waiting

Yesterday, my administrative assistant got sick in the middle of the day. She said she was nauseous and kind of light headed, so I told her to just go home. Before she left, I teasingly asked her if she was pregnant. She said noooo. She has had problems with low blood pressure in the past, so she was just going to have her husband take her to the hospital. So she left, and I pondered if it was illegal or simply inappropriate for me to tease her about being pregnant. You probably already know what happened this morning.

She came in my office to tell me that she is five weeks pregnant. Now of course I am happy for her. She is a very good employee and I genuinely like her as a person. She and her husband are the cutest couple and I'm sure their baby will be beautiful. But I am really nervous for her, as she is surrounded by infertiles.

The admin that she sits next to (they both sit right outside my office) has really bad endometriosis. She got pregnant last year after trying for seven years. Her baby was delivered at six months and died less than two weeks after he was born. The other manager who my admin works with has struggled with IF for years...her story has a happy ending. She has a little girl and another baby on the way. Another woman in that department had four miscarriages before she had her baby last year. And finally, there is another admin who sits around the corner who miscarried twins last year. Not to mention my two miscarriages. I am hoping, praying, begging that we as an office can turn the corner here.

It would be so nice if I could get some good news tomorrow and we could be pregnancy buddies. Any other possible scenario is just too hard to even think about.

Anyhoo, in other news, I feel pretty good today. I've had a few symptoms this week, but I that could just be the progesterone doing its thing. More tomorrow....

...and then there were four....

Of the six fertilized embies, 4 of them were transferred. The other two stalled, so we didn't have any to freeze. So now we wait. I go for bloodwork on Sept. 1 and again on Sept. 5. I should be used to it by now but I hate waiting.

P.S. On the positive side, aren't they just sooo cute?!

The new magic number=6

The doc just called with my "fertilization report." Seven out of eight eggs were mature. Six of those actually fertilized. Hurray! If all continues to go well, we will do our transfer on Thursday.

Today's Gripe: I have this one friend who just does not get it. For the most part, I have given up talking to her about my situation altogether because she does not really listen and every time we talk about IVF, I have to explain everything again, from the beginning. for. the. 1,000th. time. But she will ask about it every now and then. Which is fine...I really do appreciate the concern. However, she always has some random, vague story about someone she knows who went to this place, clinic, resort and now they are pregnant. She never has any details about where they went and she will ask me, do you know anything about that? Please, fertile world, when you have to give out assvice, because I know it is just killing you to keep it to yourself, have your details in order. Do not call me with a bunch of questions and vague stories about people getting pregnant after spending a week on Mysterious Baby Island. That is all.

Eight is the magic number

Retrieval Day! Today the doctor was able to aspirate 8 eggs. Everything went pretty good. I feel pretty bloated and a little crampy, but not tooo bad overall. They will call us tomorrow with a fertilization report, so keep us in your prayers.

Will this leave a scar?

Yesterday I went for an ultrasound and IVIg treatment. So far, so good. The ultrasound showed 6 follicles. I was hoping for more, maybe 10 or 12, but I will take whatever I can get. The ivig treatment went fine, but it took forever. I was hooked up to that IV for almost 4 hours. Ugh. If I have to continue doing these treatments I need to see if they can speed up the process, especially since they charge by the HOUR to administer the drug. Sheesh, what a racket. I wonder if my hubby can learn to hook up an IV. He couldn't do much worse than the nurse did...she did something wrong and there was blood everywhere. And now I have what looks like a drug user track mark on my arm. Thankfully, I haven’t had any real side effects yet. I’m a little tired and I have a slight headache, but I think that is a result of my body working so hard to lay these eggs. I go back to the doc on Friday for more blood, more ultrasound, more rip-roaring fun!

Last week, my SIL gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. He is adorable, with a head full of curly black hair. He is quite yellow, just like my hubby’s family. We went to the hospital on Wednesday to see the baby and his parents. It was a good visit. But as you can imagine, I had all kinds of mixed emotions swirling around in my head before during and after our visit. The most dominant emotion I feel right now is desperation. Is that an emotion? I just started thinking about how if this round of IVF does not work, I will really have to start examining whether or not I can keep trying. If it does work, I will be 39 years old when I have my first child. Which means, if we want more, I will be well into my forties when we try again. Then I start to question whether or not this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Do I really want to be 45 years old with 3 kids under 5 years old? Or is 40 really the new 30? I don’t have any answers. I just hope this round works.

All's Quiet on the Ovarian Front

I went for my baseline ultrasound…everything is quiet on the ovarian front. Today is my last day of caffeinated bliss, as I start stimulation tomorrow. I probably should have weaned myself weeks ago, but I am weak, oh so weak when it comes to that buzzy feeling I get from my grande iced chai or my peppermint mocha from Peete’s. YUM! At first I was going to say that caffeine has made me more productive, but that’s a lie. It really just keeps me from taking a nap in my office every day as soon as I arrive at work.

My friend K came through her surgery just fine. She was still a bit out of it from the anesthesia when I talked to her yesterday, but everything went fine. Her papillomas were benign. (yay!)

Auntie Songbird

I am officially an aunt. My sil gave birth to a bouncing baby boy last night...9.5 pounds. I haven't seen him yet...we will probably go tomorrow after work. I can’t wait to meet him. She ended up having a c section after being in labor for a full day.

My friend K is having surgery today to remove an intraductal papilloma from her bre.ast today. One day she woke up with a leaky boob and now they have to operate. Thankfully, this was discovered early and I am sure she will be fine (in Jesus’ name).

Feelin’ Hot, Hot, HOT

It was nearly 100 degrees yesterday in Chicago. This heat makes it that much more difficult to take a shot of Lupron every day. Our ac can barely keep up and we have central air! I have been waking up hot and sweaty for about a week now, and it ain’t pretty. Oh well, just another day in the life of this fertility-challenged gal. I finished my last BCP on Sunday, so AF should be here any second. Yesterday, I got my IVIg drugs in the mail. Monday I go for my baseline ultrasound and blood work. The following Monday, I go in for the IVIg infusion. For whatever reason, I think that this treatment will make me sick. I get nauseous just thinking about it. Or is that nausea from the prenatal vitamins? Gaah, who knows.