Overwhelmed

Today the administrative assistant who sits outside my office announced that she is pregnant. She had been trying for 7 years. So here’s the crazy part. She was talking about how long they had been trying and how she had the doctor call her husband because she just could not take the roller coaster of it all. Suddenly my eyes welled up with tears. I felt such a rush of mixed emotions. I’m so happy for her…who knew that the person sitting right outside my door has been going through the same things I’ve been through. (I don’t know her very well. We only became “neighbors” a few months ago.) Seeing someone else report a successful IVF cycle makes me very hopeful. I also found out that two other women in the office are pregnant. They are all due around the same time that I would have been due. Anyhow, while she was talking, I had to go get some tissue to keep from bursting into tears. I told her that I can relate to what she’s been through.

I still feel a bit weepy. I really didn’t think that my feelings about my miscarriage were still so close to the surface. I mean, I am able to function for the most part. But I do still wonder why. Why did I not only lose my baby, but I am surrounded by women who will give birth around the same time I would have.